The Holmes Boys Go Home
by LunaIrenePond
Summary: Q, Mycroft, and Sherlock have some how been roped into going to the Holmes Manor to celebrate Mother Holmes's birthday... for a week. Oh yeah did i mention that they are bringing 007, Greg Lestrade, and John Watson with them?
1. Chapter 1

It's suicidal for two of the Holmes boys to get together for a family dinner, if you want all three you are asking for another World War to break out. But given that Q wasn't surprised when Mycroft told him that mommy wanted them all home for her birthday, she was after all turning eighty. "Mycroft I hope you remember that I am legally not a Holmes anymore," Q said to his oldest brother who had taken the liberty of dropping by Q's flat and was at that moment sitting on his sofa.

"I'm the one that signed the papers, of course I remember," Mycroft said with a sigh. "I'm sure you know that that doesn't make any difference with Mother."

"Yes I know," Q said from his spiny and rolly desk chair in the far corner of the room.

"Oh and Mother would love to meet James," Mycroft smirked.

"Oh I bet she would," Q said as he put one arm on the desk and ran a hand through his think curly hair.

"So is that a yes?" Mycroft inquired.

"I'll see what I can do," Q muttered.

"Well it was good seeing you," Mycroft said as he stood up.

"The pleasure was all yours," Q rolled his eyes.

"Bye Q," Mycroft said with a wave of his hand.

As soon as Mycroft left the flat Q went over to his laptop to check up on James. Sure enough the 00 was still in Cuba on his latest case, it had something to do with the Americans again. Q was bored so he hacked into one of the cameras at the casino James was in, he then patched himself into James's earpiece. "Hello sweetie how are you doing?" Q asked James as he watched a smirk creep across the older man's face.

James then tapped out 'good' in Morse code on the table.

"Good, good… so James there is a camera behind the man you're playing. I could tap into it and read you the cards."

"Don't you dare," James tapped in reply.

"Fine, be that way," Q quipped back in mock annoyance.

"Just wait," was James's reply.

Q sat there and watched him play a couple more rounds of whatever card game he was playing. Q finally became slightly bored and went to make himself a cup of tea.

"So Q, what did you want to talk about?" James asked once he was in his hotel room and out of prying eyes and ears.

"I figured that we could act professional and you could tell me how your assignment is going on or I could just sit here and tell you about how my eldest brother broke into my flat today."

"Is this the same brother that changed all the passwords at MI-6 to something that had to do with umbrellas?" James asked laughing.

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

"You can't prove that I was involved. What about this brother of yours?"

"Well he was insulting my tea collection when I got home and the he informed me that Mother wanted all of us to visit her for her birthday."

"So, would it be bad to try and make sure that I'm on a mission at that time?"

"Uh yeah, don't do that to me," Q said as he checked the cameras around James's room. "There are two men heading towards your room from the far staircase and they don't seem too friendly."

"Thanks Q," James said as he grabbed his gun.

"No problem."

"Talk to you later."

"See you later James," Q said. He then sat and watched James to make sure that he got out okay before Q turned his computer off.

* * *

Sherlock hadn't had a case in weeks when he got the call form Q, but it wasn't like he was going to answer the phone. "Sherlock are you going to get that?" John asked after the phone went off for the third time.

"No," Sherlock said as he flopped onto the sofa.

"Why not?" John asked as he sat down his laptop.

"Because I don't want to talk to him right now."

"But he's your younger brother," John pleaded. He honestly just wanted the phone to stop going off.

"Who legally is dead," Sherlock quipped back. "I have no legal ties to Q," he practically sneered at the name that his younger brother was going by now.

"What is up with you Holmes's and faking your deaths?"

"He had to do it because of his job," Sherlock started to explain but John's phone cut him off.

"Oh for god's sake, he's calling me now!" John shouted at his phone.

"What do you want Q?" Sherlock asked as he picked up the phone.

"Nice to talk to you too, Sherlock," Q said as he laced his fingers through James's. "Mycroft dropped by a couple weeks ago."

"I'm not going to Mother's for dinner with you two," Sherlock nearly spat it out.

"Well Sherlock, I don't think you have much of a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know how you haven't had any cases for the past two weeks?"

"What did you do?"

"Between Mycroft, Lestrade, and I we can make the rest of your life very boring," Q smirked. He enjoyed having power over his older brother.

"I hate you," Sherlock said with a scowl on his face. "But I'll be there."

"Good because John has just gotten email two train tickets."

"I and not brining John," Sherlock protested.

"That's what you think. Mommy wants to meet all of us."

"Fine," Sherlock said after a long pause. "When is it?"

"The train tickets are for tomorrow at noon. We will be staying at Holmes Manor for a week, in which no one will destroy anything. See you then, Sherlock," Q then hung up the phone and turned to James to say, "No one is going to survive this."

Sherlock tossed John's phone back at him, "Pack your bags John. You get to see the week long destruction of Holmes Manor."

"A week?" John asked in disbelief. "We're staying with your brothers for a week?"

"Yes, a week. What part of that is hard to understand?"

"We're going to die."

"Don't exaggerate John; I would kill them before anything happened to you," Sherlock smirked as he walked over and wrapped the man in his arms and kissed his beloved blogger.

* * *

_**A/N: Hey look I've done a bondlock again! Wowho! I love you all, DFTBA :) **_


	2. Chapter 2

"John I am not getting on that thing," Sherlock said. He had been stewing on the train platform for the past couple of minutes as the two looked on at the train.

"Sherlock, it is just a train," John pleaded with the grumpy detective.

"It's not the train I'm upset about," he said practically glaring at the steam beast in front of him. "It's the week long holiday with my brothers."

"Sherlock, you will survive. It's only for one week."

"Yes John, but the house will not survive," Sherlock said as he shook his head.

"Oh ye of little faith," John said as he brought him into a kiss. "Get on the bloody train," John managed to, after a fair bit of cursing, to get Sherlock onto the train and into a compartment without a huge seen being made. John felt that alone was an accomplishment.

"Hello John," said a familiar voice from the doorway.

"James," John said. A huge smile spread across his face, "It's been a while. How are you?"

"Good, good," the blonde double o said as he stepped into the compartment.

"I figure you two know each other?" said the younger man that followed close behind James. He was the spitting image of Sherlock.

"John and James met each other while they were in Afghanistan and John flirted with the idea of entering MI6," Sherlock piped up from where he was sitting. "Please pay attention, Q."

"Nice to see you to Sherlock," Q smirked as he sat across from the detective and his blogger.

Sherlock went back to angrily looking out the window.

"Well this week is going to be interesting," James said remarking on the tension in the room.

"You don't know the half of it," John said. "Greg and I have a bet starting once we set foot in the house. The first person to admit to having a headache buys drinks the next time we go out."

"Count me in," James said as he glared at the two Holmes's they were stuck with for a few hours.

"You won't last a day," John smirked.

"Yeah but I think I will outlast the house."

"True that."

Soon enough the two of them were at it again. At the present time Sherlock was insulting James's taste in alcohol by yelling at Q and Q was insulting John's taste in sweaters. "Yeah like yours are any better," Sherlock nearly spat at Q

"Mine have character," Q murmured under his breath.

"Meaning they are ugly…"

John turned to James with a sigh, "Do you want to see how Greg is getting along?"

"Greg?"

"Greg Lestrade, he's a D. I. and Mycroft's boyfriend," John explained over Sherlock and Q yelling at each other.

"So all of the Holmes kids are gay?" James asked rather bluntly.

"Well… Q has a twin sister that has a long term boyfriend," John said thinking back to a case they had a couple months back.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she won't be at the manor this week because she is deep undercover in Australia for the Americans… just don't ask."

"Hey, I'm used to not asking."

"Aren't we all?" John remarked just before his phone buzzed to show that he had gotten a text, "Greg said that he's already had to take Mycroft's phone and laptop, he's trying to run the world remotely."

"Yeah I took most of Q's stuff, the only think I let him keep was his phone," James sighed as he looked over to the young Quartermaster who had plugged his head phones in and was typing away on his phone. "The only reason I didn't take that was because I think MI-6 would fall apart if he couldn't do anything at all."

"I wish I could find something for Sherlock to get lost in so that he wouldn't deduce everything all the time," by this point Sherlock had given up on trying to act angry and was taking the time to catch up on lost sleep.

"Sedatives…" James offered smirking.

"I've tried, several times, he's very observant."

"I bet."

Mycroft and Greg were about an hour mores' drive from the Holmes Manor when Mycroft finally cracked and started to complain about the whole trip. Well in theory he wasn't complaining about the trip more like his brothers. "The three of us under one roof, we won't last the week without, at least, the kitchen catching on fire."

"Mycroft, I have complete faith in you all's ability to not destroy each other," Greg said as he gave Mycroft's hand a tight, reassuring, squeeze.

"Really?" Mycroft asked with a questioning glance.

"Yeah, not at all."

"Good to know you're not going crazy."


End file.
